Health, War and Peace Classes to combine for "Battle of the Sperm" Reenactment

The Scheduling Department announced Friday that the "War and Peace" and 11th Grade Health Classes would be combining for the remainder of the year for a special seminar. Using the resources of both classes, students will complete an extensive analysis of the military implications of the struggle sperm make as they travel up the female reproductive system. "It's a match made in heaven," said Si Fiperv, a health class student who came up with the idea. "When our teacher told us how the millions of sperm battle it out past deadly acids and chemical attacks just to accomplish a single objective, it just sounded like a battle on the Eastern Front. I mean, this is better than the seige of Stalingrad!"
Teachers expressed equal enthusiasm. "The strategies that the sperm use are amazing. From clustering together to avoid the acid attack to working together to wear down the egg's lining, these sperm belong with Easy Company in terms of pioneering new battle tactics," said Hess Ianwannabe, the war and peace teacher. Most students, however, were apathetic at best. "It's a bunch of one-celled organisms swimming around! Who cares?" one commented.