Chemistry Teacher, Darth Vader Lose Bid for Secretary

In a sedated press release on Monday, WHS chemistry teacher Cray Zeesongwriter and Darth Vader announced that they had failed in campaign for secretary of Student Council. "Despite our valiant attempts at organizing write-in campaigns, the established candidate still won. Thank you to all our supporters," Vader said. Zeesongwriter expressed regret and frustration about the outcome. "I wasn't really planning on running at all, but then all these students started writing me down. I really thought I had a chance," he kvetched. Students were also disappointed. "Darth Vader was by far the most qualified candidate," one student declared. "Just because he wasn't on student council before doesn't mean he can't do the job." "Sure, she [the ballot candidate] might have experience with writing," opined another, "but I bet she hasn't even seen a slide rule. And how can you possibly be secretary without knowing how to use a slide rule?"
The candidates seemed confused as to what they were going to do now that the campaign was over. Zeesongwriter said he would just go back to teaching. Vader said he would "just have to settle down in a galaxy far far away."