Polygamous Semi-Dating Illegal at WHS, Guidance Department Declares
Gi Golo, a Senior at WHS, was indicted Thursday of "indecent conduct" when he was discovered to have asked two girls to the semi-formal. Said the Guidance Department, "Everyone knows that semi-dating is between one boy and one girl. By violating this basic social framework, this student has demonstrated total disregard for all morality. We will not condone this behavior in our school." When informed of the charge, Gi was shocked. "All I wanted to do was make two girls happy," he said. "I guess I'm going to have to disappoint them both now."
Other students did not take such a high-minded view of the situation. Said one classmate, "he's just a big pimp. He's extorting two vulnerable girls to make it look like he's all that." Another student added, "I can't even figure out how he pulled it off in the first place. I can't get one semi date, and he's already got two?"