Dumb Kid Overjoyed as 29.5% is Rounded Up to 30%
On a nervous end-of-the-marking-period Friday when most students are praying that their borderline A's and B's will be rounded up, John (name changed), a Sophomore at WHS, was practically jumping for joy despite his failing grade. While he was expecting a pathetic 29.5% grade in Social Studies this marking period, his teacher informed him that he would, in fact, be recieving a whopping 30%. "I can't believe how lucky I am!" John yelled as he ran through the hallways, waving his grade sheet for all to see.
Unfortunately, John's new found sucess may have some social consequences. As one of John's "former" friends commented, "He's such a jerk, getting all smart and stuff. Just 'cause he got a 30 and I got a 25 doesn't mean he's better than me." John's girlfriend also seemed emotionally distraught by the incident. "He'll probably never talk to me again," she lamented. "He's going to hang out with his new 30% crowd for the rest of year. I bet he'll even go to college or something."
John's teachers seemed to have a more reasonable view on the situation. Said his Social Studies teacher, "While I'm happy that John is so enthusiastic about his grade, he's still failing the class by a full 35 percentage points. It's not like there's some new future opening up for him."