2003 Honor Society Shows Record Amount of Slackers
School administrators and faculty were disappointed yesterday to discover the large amount of slackers in the 2003 National Honor Society. Mr. Schwartz, the faculty sponsor, commented on the situation in his opening speech at the first meeting. "I congratulate you all on being the leaders of our school in scholarship, leadership, service, and character...oh who am I kidding? 90% of you are lazy bums! I saw at least four of you doing the application form the period before it was due, IN MY CLASS!" Other members of the faculty selection staff joined in Mr. Schwartz's dismay. Said one, "I know some NHS members may be shocked to know this, but 'throwing away your trash at lunch' does not qualify as service to the community!" And on the leadership issue: "'Captain of Counter Strike Clan' isn't exactly the level of leadership we're looking for."
Unfortunately, the level of laziness in NHS does not seem to be a phenomenon unique to this year. The NHS treasury has virtually no money in it, and a new $10 fee is being charged for club membership, according to the club's officers, "because last year's members were bums too."