Central Office Secretary Reveals Dr. Durtan to be Sith Lord

In a confidential interview last week, central office secretary Jane Smith (name has been changed) revealed what many in the Wissahickon School District already suspected - that Dr. Durtan is an evil Lord of the Sith. "I thought he was wierd ever since he came," said Jane, "but when he started painting his face red and black, I knew something was up." Jane has also seen Dr. Durtan undergoing such strange rituals as meditation, chants, and levitation. Dr. Durtan's Sith background may explain his recent success at enacting controvertial policies, including the earlier school start date and the principal shuffle, without opposition. It is possible that he may be using his "force choke" power to force his opponents into submission.
Unfortunately, Wissahickon seems to have little hope for ridding itself of this menace. Most school board members cower in the face of the overwhelming power of the dark side, and the nearest Jedi Knights reside in a galaxy far, far away.