Misunderstanding Over "Chewie" Cookies Leads to Sexual Harassment Charge
What started out as a simple attempt to sell fundraiser cookies turned to a sick and disturbing incident on Monday when Susan (name has been changed), a ninth grade student in the Wissahickon Marching Band, received several derogatory remarks from an anonymous Senior. "All I did was ask him if he wanted some "Stewie's Chewies,'" Susan said, tears streaming down her face. "Then he started saying things like 'Chewies for a dollar? You cheap whore!' I was so confused. When he started looking at me funny, I ran away."
When she informed her parents of the incident, they immediately called the police. Sgt. Michael Smith leads the task force assigned to investigate. Commented Smith, "Apparently, Susan's prospective client mistook the offer of "Chewie" cookies for the common high school slang term for oral sex. Even though the mistake appears to be genuine, it doesn't give the senior the right to harass any innocent girl." The unnamed senior faces up to 2 years in prison and a $5,000 fine.
Response among the students and faculty of WHS has been mixed. One senior commented, "All the man was tryin' to do was get some quality chewie! Give him a break!" Others offered harsher condemnation. "A girl's chewies are hers and hers alone to sell or give away as she sees fit. No one has the right to take that ownership away," said a statement from fourth period Political Science class.
There are no plans to halt or alter the cookie sale because of the investigation, and it appears that Susan will make a full emotional recovery. When asked about her feelings on the incident, she remarked, "At least I'll get a guaranteed spot in Aura."