Wissahickon Forms "Drunk" League for Suspended Students

Wissahickon Athletics Department officials announced Thursday that they were forming a new "Drunk League" designed to accommodate the large number of student athletes that were removed from traditional teams after being caught drinking at Homecoming. "We've had captains, star players, and even equipment managers suspended on these drinking charges," Athletic Director Eneb Riated said. "We've got some of our best athletic talent sitting on the sidelines because of a little alcohol. I know the rules say they need to be suspended, but does that mean they shouldn't be able to play at all?"
Currently, at least 10 students have been removed from normal teams. The total may be higher, but privacy issues prevent a full record from being released. Still, even with that small number, Riated says the players are versatile enough to field multiple teams. "And without the nuisance of school," - all of the players have also been suspended from school for at least a week - "we'll be able to practice as much as we want," he added. Drinking will be allowed at games and practices, but coaches will make sure the players "keep it low-key." "In the end," Riated concluded, "we felt like the permanent suspension was really going to destroy these students' futures. 'A little alcohol and your future goes down the drain' - is that really the message we want to send to our kids? We at the Athletic Department think not."